A Most Unusual Date  By D

A Most Unusual Date  By D

A Most Unusual Date

By D.T.

As Jeannine's gigantic mouth loomed over me, and her humid, fragrant breath

washed over me, and her slick, mattress-sized tongue hungrily caressed her

crimson lips, I started to think about what an unusual direction our

relationship was going.

It had all started out pretty normally. We met in Safeway, oddly enough. People

always told me the one up on Wisconsin Avenue was somewhat of a pickup place,

but I'd never picked up anything more than a box of Cheerios there. So you can

imagine my surprise when I met Jeannine. I was cheerfully picking out my granny

smiths when she came up out of nowhere.

'You know, you shouldn't be in the produce section like this,' she said, in one

of those breathy, sensuous voice that I'd thought only existed in movies but, as

I just learned, sometimes happened in the real world. She had black, wavy hair

and these blue-green eyes that just tugged at me. I fought the temptation to

glance down at her breasts which, I would later find out, were those nice, perky

kind that are not too big, not too small, you know? Don't mean to go on about

them like this but, well, I'll say it. I'm a breast man. Not that I don't go for

all those other things like personality and brains and all - I mean, I am a 90's

kinda sensitive kinda liberal guy but - anyway...

'Um.. why not?' I asked.

'Well, a prime piece of meat like you should be in the meat department, of

course...'

When my heart resumed beating after a few seconds, I asked, 'Is that your usual

opening line, or was this the first time?'

'First time.' she said, 'thought I'd give it a shot. What'd you think?' she

asked, with one of those sorta-pouty, devilishly innocent, painfully alluring

looks on her face. The kind that could only come from years of theatrical

training. Damn, she was good at this, I thought.

'Not bad.' I said. 'Bonus points for creativity. And nerve. I certainly

wouldn't...' I stopped that line of talking and switched into woman-meeting

mode. 'Mark,' I said, in my suavest and most debonair voice possible.

'Jeannine,' she said, extending her hand.

And so we met. We conversed. She was an aspiring actress. I'd never have

guessed, I thought to myself sarcastically. I told her all about my exciting

life as a freelance writer. Long story short - we hit it off, numbers were

exchanged, and on Friday night I was knocking on the door of her Upper

Georgetown row house to take her out to dinner.

After dinner, we headed back to her place. I was pretty surprised when she

invited me in. Things were going well, but not that well, I thought. Cool. I

must have my mojo working, I thought. In the midst of coffee and late-night TV,

one thing led to another and we were in bed. I won't go into details here, for

brevity's sake, but it was nice. We cuddled for a while. She kept licking me as

we cuddled and chatted. I can deal with dating a licker, I thought.

Soon after, I fell into one of the most restful sleeps I'd had in ages. I woke

very slowly the next morning, reaching for the covers. It had gotten kind of

chilly during the night. The sheet I was lying on felt sort of rough.

'Mark, are you up?' Jeannine asked, in a startlingly loud whisper.

'Mmmphfo' I rmumbled. Leave me alone. I wanna sleep, I thought.

'Mark, I'm going to ask you to not be too startled by what you're about to see.'

she boomed. Something strange was going on, I suspected. Something very strange

is going on, I thought. I wonder what is going on here, I thought. Perhaps I

should open my eyes and try not to be too startled by what I'm about to see, I

thought.

What I saw was a face the size of a small house. I yelped and sort of scurried

back towards the pillow which was about the size of a small apartment building.

I had to be, what, an inch, two inches tall. Before I could say anything, the

giant face, which I began to recognize as Jeannine's face, though a very large

version of Jeannine's face, spoke again.

'Please try not to say anthing right now, because all you'll be able to say is a

bunch of meaningless, unintelligible syllables.'

'Bff.. whu... gr... ch.. ch.. fss?' I asked. What do you know? She was right.

'Try not to be mad. I sort of put a little spell on you during the night that

shrunk you down to an inch and a half.'

'Um... why?' I finally mustered up the courage to say.

'Just for kicks,' she said in a wonderfully nonchalant way that would've been

extremely sexy if I weren't hiding from a under her shopping-mall-sized pillow

(Okay, maybe it wasn't that big, but at the time, accurate metaphors weren't my

top priority. 'Would it help if I told you how cute you were like this?'

'Well,' I said, crawling out from under the pillow a bit. I was feeling a little

bit more secure. '... you can try it.'

'Okay,' she said, lifting up the pillow and bringing her face in close to me.

'You're SO cute, I could just eat you up.' I didn't stick around to see her

smack her lips and make purring, yummy noises at me, but I heard them loud and

clear behind me as I ran. After a mad 100-yard dash across the bed, I was still

pretty much within her arm's reach. I saw my escape routes being cut off by one

hand, then the other, then her chest and her arms until finally I was surrounded

by ... Jeannine.

I turned to face her as she glared down at me. 'Trying to run, eh? That's going

to cost you. Dearly...' she said, very dramatically. I gulped in fear as she

glared down at me and licked her lips...

This is the point where I had started this story, if you remember. Before I went

off on that long flashback with all that plot and character development and

other nonsense. Those of you who only want to see the real hard-core GTS-type

stuff can stop skimming and start reading again.

'Hey, Jeannine, um, you're not really gonna, you know... eat me, are you?' I

said.

She responded to this with a giggle. I felt her fingers wrap themselves around

me.

'I mean, you wouldn't... You... hey!' I said as she lifted me up to eye level.

She stared for a moment, and then brought me to her mouth. Her soft lips pressed

against my face and chest as she kissed me, gently holding me between two

fingers and her thumb.

I struggled mildly as her lips nibbled at me, and she then began to press the

tip of her tongue to me, rubbing it around my neck and chest, down my legs, to

my crotch, and back into her mouth. She smiled, savoring the taste of me, and

swallowed lightly. Admittedly, I was getting kind of warm, but I was also pretty

damn scared. And babbling incoherently.

'Cause, you know, that would ... and I'd, um.. the.. with, and.' I said.

She parted her lips and this time attacked me with her tongue, rubbing it

against me, up and down. She coated my body with her sticky saliva, and planted

kisses all over me with lips as big as my legs. I felt her front teeth lightly

pinch at me a few times, and her breathing get more intense. It was at this

point that I decided babbling was much less enjoyable than what she was doing

now, and shut up.

Then, with a slow, soft kiss on my entire face, she stopped. 'That's what you

get for trying to run.' she said.

'Well,' I said. 'I should try and run more often.'

She smiled and kissed me again, ending it with another giant lick up my entire

upper body.

'You know,' I said, with a sigh of relief, 'I really thought you were going to

eat me, for a second there.'

She grinned a grin that I didn't like the looks of and laughed a large, open

mouthed laugh that I really didn't like the looks of. 'Oh, I'm still going to

eat you.' she said, smiling broadly, 'I just like playing with my food first.'

She then resumed licking and kissing me, laughing and giggling the whole time.

I was a little scared at that point. But it was just so damn cute the way she

said it. Somehow, the concept didn't seem all that bad. Sounded kinda fun, and

she wasn't making it easy for me to concentrate, what with the kissing and

nibbling and all. There was one nagging thing that kept bothering me though. It

was... oh, yeah. The bit about slowly and painfully digesting in her stomach.

That kinda put a damper on things.

'Jeannine!' I shouted. She was sucking my legs into her mouth and nibbling on

them. Damn, that felt good. I didn't want this to go much farther, though...

'JEANNINE!'

She heard me this time, and slowly pulled me out. 'Something wrong?' she purred.

'You're not REALLY going to... you know... eat me, are you? I mean, you're just

kidding around, right?'

'What's the matter, sweetie? You scared?'

'Well, yeah!'

'Listen... Don't be afraid. I'm not going to hurt you.'

'Uh-huh...'

'But I am going to eat you' she said, and began nibbling on my feet.

'But.. why?'

'Just for fun.. and cause you're sooo tasty.' She was up to my thighs.

'Look, Jeannine, I don't want to die! Please.... I' She was pretty much ignoring

my pleas, inching her way up my body. Since I was only an inch-and-a-half tall,

it didn't take long before I was up to my armpits in her mouth, staring up her

smooth cheek. She was staring back at me, and could see how freaked I was.

Finally, she pulled me out.

'Listen, Mark. Everything's going to be okay. I'm not going to hurt you... It'll

be fun, you'll see. You just have to trust me,' she cooed. She smiled that damn

cute smile again.

I wasn't too reassured, but the point was pretty much moot as her face descended

on me and I saw her giant pink mouth envelop me. It grew dark as I felt her

teeth grip me around the waist and the floor drop away. I flailed my legs and

yelled as her tongue came up under me and pulled me in the rest of the way. I

heard a dull thud as her teeth closed around me, and I lay there, clutching her

tongue. It was warm and wet, and I could feel and hear her pulse all around me.

All was quiet for a few seconds as she held me there, lightly squeezing me

against the roof of her mouth. This isn't too bad, I thought.

As if on cue, she chose that moment to start chewing.

I was pretty disoriented as her tongue pushed me around in her mouth. I felt her

teeth clamping on my arms and legs, very gingerly kneading the muscles, but not

hard enough to be painful. I realized how easily she could kill me if she wanted

to, but, thankfully, she didn't seem to want to.

Her mouth was starting to flood with saliva, and she was making mmming noises

which were almost deafening, but made her whole mouth vibrate hypnotically. She

was rubbing her tongue against my body very passionately and - well, I won't get

into details, but just consider the lemon very well-squeezed. I was getting very

into this entirely new sexual experience when I felt a rush of cold air as she

opened her mouth and pulled me out.

'Anyone ever tell you how tasty you are?'

'You did, about ten minutes ago.'

'Oh, yeah. Well, I just wanted to let you know before I swallowed you.' She

rolled over on her back, opened her mouth wide, and held me above it, slowly

lowering me in. I was too exhausted to even fight as I passed by those soft

lips, and her huge teeth and came to rest on that huge, rough tongue. I tried to

get a grip on it, but it was too slick. I looked up in time to see her lips seal

shut a few feet above me, and then felt her tongue push me aginst the roof of

her mouth. She squeezed and squeezed on me, and her saliva pour over me in

torrents now. My ears popped from the change in pressure as she sucked on my

entire body like a lollipop. Finally, she worked me to the back of her mouth and

gulped.

I was pulled into a narrow, slippery tube that collapsed behind me, pushing me

all the way to her stomach. The tube ended and I felt myself falling, then

rolling down a wet, bumpy hill and splashing into a warm, frothy puddle. I knew

that all around me was acid, but it didn't burn. How is this possible, I

thought. I didn't have much time to think about it before blacking out. It was

when I woke up that the really strange stuff started happening but - I'll save

that for the sequel.

Part II

When we last left our hero, he had just been swallowed alive by a nice young

lady he'd met at Safeway and turned out to have magic powers and an appetite for

1 1/2 inch tall guys.

How is Mark going to get out of this sticky situation?

Is this the end for our hero?

Am I going to stop this cheesy Batman rip-off any time soon?

Well, yes. Right now, in fact. Anyway, where was I? Oh,yeah. Jeannine just ate

me and I was in her stomach.

So, there I was, in total darkness in this really humid cavern. The walls were

slick and wet, and sorta rough an bumpy. Every time Jeannine moved anywhere,

everything in the room was tossed around. Her heartbeat was echoing off the

walls around me, and the huge pool in the middle of the room was bubbling and

churning pretty frantically. The nice thing was that the acid didn't seem to be

having any effect on me, so as long as I didn't run out of air, I'd be okay.

It was right around when I was thinking this that I felt a small puff of fresh

air come from somewhere above me and I heard water splashing somewhere in front

of me. The distinct smell of coffee lingered in the air. At least it was good

coffee, Starbucks, I think. That made it almost bearable.

Things were starting to get very surreal, and the blackness of the room seemed

to spin around me. I swirled my way into unconsciousness. I don't really

remember what I dreamed about, but it was very psychedelic. And I remember this

long tunnel and a light at the end of it. Wow, I thought. So this is death. I

slowly floated down the tunnel and emerged into the light.

Around me were very blurry images. The images started to become more distinct.

In front of me were what I imagined to be the pearly gates. When they became

clearer, I wondered why the gates of Heaven looked like gigantic breasts.

'Mark!' said the breasts. 'Are you awake?' I soon came to realize that it was

not the breasts themselves, but the owner of the breasts who was talking to me.

And they were Jeannene's.

'Mark!' she said again, nudging me with a huge finger. I finally woke up,

realizing that I wasn't dead, after all. I was still an inch and a half tall,

but I was alive. One out of two ain't bad.

'Mark, please say something... Mark?'

A number of things crossed my mind that I could say. Such as 'what the hell was

that about, you crazy man-eating maniac?' or 'you scared the shit out of me, you

insane witch, don't ever do that again.' But she was smiling that damn cute

smile again. So all I could manage to say was 'hi.' Close enough, I guess.

'Are you okay?' she asked.

'Fine, I guess.' I sat up, moving my arms and legs. All still working okay.

She picked me up and rolled onto her side. I looked down at her legs, several

hundred feet away. Damn, she was huge. She brought me to her lips for a long

kiss on my chest and face. 'So, was it good for you?' she grinned.

'It was... interesting.' It was kind of fun, except for the bits where I thought

I was going to die. 'Kinda scary, but interesting.'

She kissed me again. 'I hope I didn't scare you too much. I'd never do anything

to hurt you , Mark. You need a hug?'

I nodded yes, and she pressed me to her lovely breast. This I could get used to.

'That better?' she asked.

'Much.' I responded. I was pushed deep into the soft cushion, and she lightly

rubbed me against the smooth skin. She then slid me into her cleavage, which was

impressive when I was normal-sized. Now, however, it was a pretty overwhelming

chasm as I was surrounded above and below by globes of flesh. This wasn't bad at

all. A bit hard to breathe, though, and I wriggled forward until I could poke my

head out from between Jeannine's breasts.

'Having fun in there?' she asked. Yes, I nodded. She lightly squeezed her

breasts together, giggling as I squirmed around. She pulled me out and brought

me back up to her face for another kiss. She was giving that smile again. I was

getting aroused again. Guess I'm just a sucker for a pretty face. Even one the

size of a Greyhound Bus.

She kissed me lightly on the face and shoulders, and I stroked her beautiful

pink lips with my hands. She smiled, revealing her gigantic teeth. The teeth

parted and she teased me with her soft tongue. After a little while she put me

down on the bed and rolled onto her stomach. Watching her giant breasts settle

wonderfully onto the mattress, I was distracted long enough not to notice her

face descending on me from above.

I tried to defend myself as she attacked me, nipping and pinching me with her

teeth and lips, but it was useless to resist. I felt her nibbles getting bigger

and bigger until finally she had me all the way in her mouth. Her tongue easily

pushed me between her teeth and she chewed, lightly but vigorously. I could feel

the room quickly lurch over as she picked her head up. She opened up her mouth

and I rolled onto her tongue as light washed into the room.

It was so nice and warm. There was not enugh room to stand, so I sat up on her

greyish-pink tongue and looked around. Her mouth was still wide open, and I

could see the wall of the bedroom framed between her teeth and lips. The roof of

her mouth shone a deep red, and looking up overhead I could see the cave get

darker and darker as it neared her throat.

My feet dangled in pools of saliva in between her tongue and her jaw. The entire

moment was just too surreal. She slowly closed her mouth, and cradled me in her

tongue. It was like a hot, wet, moving easychair. Quite relaxing, too, I

thought, as her jaws clamped shut, sealing me in darkness. For a long while,

nothing moved. I could feel her rubbing me gently with her tongue, and she

lifted me to the roof of her mouth and began sucking on me. I was getting more

and more aroused as she rolled me onto my stomach and started rubbing me up and

down with her tongue.

I could hear her beathing getting louder, and her tongue was squeezing me harder

and harder. I grabbed hold of her tongue to try and steady myself, but this

seemed to only excite her more. I was now drenched in saliva, which was

splashing all around me, and making it tough to get a grip on anything. She quit

sucking on my body and began pushing me all over her mouth. I felt teeth and

tongue all around me, but was by now completely disoriented. I came just as she

pushed me up to the roof of her mouth and gulped. For the second time that day,

the room collapsed around me and I felt the powerful suction pull me in.

Only this time I didn't go down the hatch. At the last second, she pushed me to

the front of her mouth and held me there as the swallow moved down her throat.

She let out a tiny, cartoonlike burp, as if to drive home the point that that

was very nearly me down there. I gasped for breath as everything grew eerily

calm. I could hear her pulse grow slower and quieter around me as she gently

shifted me around. Binding light stabbed my eyes as she opened her mouth to let

me out.

Leaning out over her teeth, I looked around. She was now sitting up on the bed,

and it was a long way down. It looked like a good ten feet just to her breasts,

and another twenty feet to her legs, which were a good fifteen feet high

themselves. All in all, almost a fifty foot drop, I thought, as vertigo set in.

'Hey, a little help here?' I shouted, hoping she'd put out a hand for me to jump

to.

'Okay' she said, sliding her tongue under me and pushing me out. Not the kind of

help I was looking for. I tried to grab something, but my wet hands couldn't

grip anything. I tumbled out down her chin and landed on her left breast. This

proved impossible to grab onto as I slid down. I made one last desperate attempt

to grip something, anything, before I rolled off the front of her breast and

fell onto the hand that darted out to catch me.

She dried me off and finally restored me to my normal size. Fun as it was to be

bite-sized, it felt good to be normal again. By now I was full of questions, and

as we got dressed, I asked away.

She was, as she explained to me, endowed with powers that had been passed down

from generation to generation in her family. Although I didn't really believe in

magic, the events of this day were causing me to rethink my views on the

subject.

'Magic is just a nice way of explaining something we can't understand yet,' she

explained as she sat behind me, gently rubbing my back. 'It's only magic until

you find out that the magician had the card in his pocket all the time. Then you

realize it's just a trick.'

'So what's the trick to shrinking people?' I asked.

'I don't really understand it, to be honest,' she said. 'One thing I do

understand is that the mind is a very powerful thing. And reality only exists as

our senses perceive it to exist. If all of the senses can be tricked, reality

will soon follow.' She continued kneading my shoulders and spoke, almost

whispering:

'There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio/

      than are dreamt of in your philosophy.'

'I don't know,' I said, after a long pause. 'I just don't buy it.' It was all

too real to be just some trick of the mind.

'You already bought it,' she said. I pondered this for a while. 'Look, Mark, I

still don't understand it all myself. My grandmother used to try to explain it

all to me. I didn't get it then and I have just the slightest notion of it now.'

She put her chin on my shoulder and kissed the nape of my neck. 'But I do know

that it can be fun.' We both stood up and stared at each other for a while. My

mind was swimming with exhaustion, curiosity, and Hamlet. And also something

else I hadn't felt with any woman I'd dated in a long time. It felt like... nah.

Too soon for that, I thought.

'Well,' I said, after what felt like an appropriate pause, 'would you like to

try and, um, experiment with this power again soon? Maybe if you're not busy

next weekend?' I asked. She responded with an extremely passionate kiss.

'Mmmm,' she said, smacking her lips. 'I don't know if I can wait that long. How

about dinner at my place Monday?'

'Sounds good, ' I said, 'What are you having?'

She smiled the smile again. 'You need to even ask?' she said.

THE END

A Most Unusual Date  By D

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