Can

Can

 

Can’t Compute

By

Asukafan2001

 

I always loved computers, I loved to build them, I loved to

tinker with them, I loved to use them for all there various functions. I could

remember the first time I ever saw a computer. My feelings could only be

described as that feeling you got just after you learned how to ride your bike.

That feeling of freedom and knowledge that there is a world beyond your block

that you can now travel to, a place that is beyond what you call home. That

love, that exploration that has pushed man to want more since the start of time.

The sole purpose behind the finding of North and South America, the secret

knowing that there is more out there, that just getting by isn’t enough, those

simple truths are why I fell in love with computers. They unlocked a world that

I hadn’t ever imagined, for the first time I was connected with the world. I

could talk to people from anywhere in the world, I could buy things from any

where; there was so much to learn, so much to do. I found myself immersing

myself more and more as days went by. I began hating to go to little league, and

pop warner football because it took away time that I could spend with my

computers, but my parents pushed and forced me to continue playing sports. 

           It wasn’t so bad that they did, because they did

I had lots of friends, I have had girlfriends and even have one at the moment. I

am known around the school, I wouldn’t call myself popular but I wasn’t a

nobody. Since my parents did push me I learned to balance my time between

pleasure and business, between fun and duties which taught me values that

everyone should know.

           However, fate decided to intervene in my

otherwise dull life. I was coming home from school, I had to make it home before

my parents so I could at the very least get 30 minutes of computer time before

they started cracking the whip. The old metaphorical whip, one of the many joys

of living at home, no matter how old you are, you still have chores and rules.

You would think that as you get older that you get less and less rules and

chores but since you get older you only get more and more. The so called

responsibility that you have always wanted is forced upon you and find out one

simple truth. Responsibility sucks!

           As I made it home that day, I looked down at my

watch, it was 3:15. That time is engrained into me as it is the time that I will

never forget. The time that fate wont ever let me live down. As 3:17 approached

I was already in the computer room booting up the computer. As the computer

loaded I looked out the window, seeing the driveway still empty I knew my

sister, well sort of sister wasn’t home. I love her like a sister, and most of

the time I don’t even think about the fact that she was adopted but that is

really beside the point, like I was saying, I looked out the window and saw that

Caroline or Cary as we call her wasn’t home and neither were mom and dad. I

smiled as this ideal pleasure would be mine and mine alone to have. The computer

loaded and I clicked on internet explorer. As I clicked I felt surge pass

through my body. My body was lifted up off the ground and I slammed against hard

floor.

           I awoke not realizing I had even been on

unconscious for the better part of an hour. I sat up expecting to see the

computer monitor and I did see it only it was huge, huge doesn’t really describe

it more like magnamous. Yes Magnamous describes it well because the word doesn’t

exist. The size of thing just cannot be conveyed by words. It just kept going up

and up, and up. I couldn’t even see the end.

           One would think that this alone would be enough

to give fate a chuckle and its jollies but no, fate needs more, fate is like

orphan boy Oliver saying please sir may I have some more? Fate,  begging and

pleading for more, and much to my demise it submits to its own will.

           A low rumble rolls across the floor like a cool

breeze coming off the ocean. It’s not that noticeable at first but it increases

in volume and power almost like clock work, it’s always at the same time, same

pace, like a machine. The rumbling was all I could hear while my legs were going

numb from the shaking. I find myself at the mercy of the beast. Fear, panic,

excitement, all run through me as I catch a glance at the computer monitor

again. I still can’t believe how huge it is. The rumbling and shaking ceases all

at once, almost as if time itself had stopped, the air was thick, it was thick

like my pea soup. The ground was filled with tension like it was about to burst

at any moment. I darted my eyes around nervously catching the magnitude and

vastness of everything around me as I turn 90 degrees I catch a wall of pink in

the corner of my eyes. Still a bit puzzled as to what has happened to myself but

knowing full well that there is nothing pink in this room my curiosity peaks. I

start to turn faster as both my eyes focus on the pink structure in the corner

of my eye. As I turn my vision fills with more and more pink. Then I hear a

shrill, it almost sounds like an air leak followed by a grinding noise.

           I look upward nervously part of me not wanting

to but most of me not sure why I wouldn’t want too. As I look up my excitement

dissipates into complete shock and fear. It’s Caroline! She’s just damn big is

the only way to put it. The computer monitor I couldn’t describe but picture

about 12 of those indescribable computer monitors sitting atop of each other and

that’s about what I am seeing. It is now the full realization of what has

happened to me passes through my brain. I shrunk, and while I had realized that

I shrunk accepting it was still well off, which put barely being able to see the

underside of Caroline’s chin not anywhere near the realm of ready to undertake

acceptance.

Upon seeing Caroline like this I

found myself with the knowledge of my size. I had to have been microscopic as

the distance from where I was to her the underside of her chin looked to be

about the distance from Earth to the Sun.

I had absolutely no idea how I

was going to get her attention. I must say that jumping up and down like a

lunatic seemed like a logical thing at the time but as I look back at it. It was

probably one of the top ten dumbest things I have done in my life.  As I leap

around like a lunatic screaming and shouting hoping that somehow my voice would

fall upon Cary’s ears I began to pay less and less attention to what was going

on around me and more and more attention how to get her attention so as I leapt

up I cared not where I landed only if my plight would work however as I landed I

rolled my ankle and found myself tumbling off the side of the desk.

Everything whizzed around me but

the fall was much shorter then I had suspected.

I landed on something grey, it was a plastic grey. In the

middle of there looked to be some kind of writing but I couldn’t make it out. I

stood up a bit shakily from the fall. As I looked around I could see row after

row of similar elevated platforms with writing on each of them. I spun around a

couple more times before it dawned on me. I was on the keyboard. Upon this

realization there was decompression type noise which told me that Cary had sat

down, and to make matters worse it was at the computer. Everything around me

began to shake as she lifted the keyboard up. I found myself sliding off the key

I was on. I grabbed the side of the key as my body slid over the edge. My

fingers grinded into plastic, as my muscles strained trying to pull me up but I

knew it was futile as I could never lift my own body weight. My adrenaline

started pumping through my veins as my body clings to the side of the key.

Something tempts me to look down but I force myself to look ahead not paying

attention to my desires. I begin to think that I just might make it as I hold

on. I start to swing from side to side hoping I can get one of my legs over the

side. As I swing I start to just get my toe over the side of the key as Cary

lets the keyboard drop the last inch onto her lap.

           My body slams into the hard plastic. At first I

think that I just might have made it back onto the key but as I look around I

realize that I have not. Plastic posts stick up into the air like trees of a

forest as I look around. The only difference I find is instead of a canopy of

leaves I see a canopy of the keys of the keyboard. I take a few steps to the

left so that I can see between two of the keys literally a mile or two above me.

I can only manage to make out Cary’s pink top as I stare up at her from between

the keys.

           As she types I can hear the clicking and

clacking of the keys resonating through my world. I cover my ears as I run

through the maze of plastic posts looking for a way out. I wander around for

seemingly hours as I can hear Cary in her usual position. I have seen it so many

times, her head tilted to the right pressing her cell phone into her shoulder

while she talks to one of her friends, she has her legs curled up under her and

the keyboard resting in her lap as she chats to more friends online.

           I finally come across some a droplet of soda. I

look up to see Caroline setting down a can diet coke. Any other day I would be

yelling at her but today I am thankful for her constant disobeying of the rules.

I tare my clothes off and roll around in the sticky soda. I then throw myself at

one of the plastic posts and smile as I stick. I can’t believe my luck. I slowly

make my ascent back onto the top of the key.

           As I make it to the top of key I find Caroline

and gone and darkness shrouding the room. I couldn’t believe how long it took. I

struggle to make out any of the objects at first but as my eyes adjust to the

darkness everything begins to come into focus. I find that the keyboard is

resting in chair probably where Cary left it.

           The door the room then bursted open, the sound

of my mother’s voice filled the room she was chatting with someone. I couldn’t

see either my mom or who was with her but I knew I was in trouble.

           “Thank you Mrs. Sanford for letting me use your

computer. Ours is getting fixed”

           “Oh it’s not a problem, the kids aren’t around

tonight and I never use it, just make sure you lock the doors when you leave

Grace.”

           “Alright Mrs. Sanford thanks again, I appreciate

it”

           It was Grace from next door, I would be lying if

I said I hadn’t ever had a wet dream about her before, because I had, quite a

few actually. She has the most luscious ass, the cutest smile, a little heavy

breasted something I never really liked but no one is perfect, I always enjoyed

the way her brown hair swept across her face. I had seen her millions of times

but as she came into view I wasn’t ready for how magnificent she looked. She had

on blue jeans and a black sweater with a baby blue zig zag pattern across the

center of it and on the sleeves. As she grabbed the key board I found myself

sliding off the keys for the second time today as she grabbed the keyboard by

the cord. I screamed for Grace as I slid off the key and fell. I was freefalling

without a parachute and no hope for survival.

           I didn’t think I would survive the fall but I

did somehow. I didn’t even fall unconscious. I was just staring up at grace who

had her back to me. I looked around seeing the padded cushion of the computer

chair stretching out infinitely in all directions. Then her ass started lowering

towards me. My eyes bugged out and mind began to run amuck. I take off running

towards the edge but its almost like I am not even moving as Graces ass only

looms closer and closer. I keep looking up hoping that this will all be some

kind of horrible dream that I am going to wake up from but now I can smell the

scent of Grace in the air. I put my hands up like I could somehow push her up

and off of me if I wanted too. My body began to sink into the cushion as Graces

ass pushed me deeper and deeper in until I had no where else to go. The cushion

was at its maximum absorbance so it was no the chair itself forced to the

cushion the blow. My ribs cracked and my eyes bugged out. I tried to scream but

I had no air. I felt my legs break and smash first then my hips, I was unable to

move a muscle but I found that nothing else was breaking. I used my hands to

feel around and I found what had led to my survival. As Grace sat down I was in

process of running to one of the button holes in the cushion, a small amount of

luck finally fell on my side, however fate once again stepped into things. Grace

slide her butt from side to side a bit trying to adjust and get comfortable that

I was all it took. One my smashed legs got caught into a small microscopic

thread loop that was jutting out from her jeans so as Grace adjusted herself I

was drug of the button hole. As Grace rolled her weight back over towards me I

knew this was it. I was going to die.

           That was exactly how I got here. It’s funny how

when you are about die that everything leading upto your demise runs through

your head. I could feel the weight of Grace steadily increase as I could faintly

hear You’re a God by Vertical Horizon. How fitting, I think to myself. It is at

the very moment “I hear You’re a god, and I am not….”

I feel my body begin to expand a

grow, at first the growth is only slow and gradual and soon its fast, I begin to

get bigger and bigger, not now no not know I scream in my mind. As I get bigger

and bigger the pressure on my body gets greater and greater, my chest finally

bursts open spilling my blood and guts onto the seat cushion.

I find myself immobile

completely. I realize this is death. I see Grace’s but dart up as she feels

something, its me I think to myself. As she stands up and looks down at my

remains I find myself still looking up and down at myself. This must be what

death is. I look down at my destroyed body. My legs are mashed barley

recognizable, my chest looks more like someone took a hammer to potato and my

head is no where to be found. I was completely crushed by her ass, unbelievable.

It then dawned on me, I was dead.

I begin to cry as I look soley look up at Grace as its much to painful to look

down at myself. I then see her walk away, but I cant see where. I am not sure

where I am but I seem to only be able to see this one spot. As Grace returns she

has something in her hand but I can’t quite make out what.

“Thank god they scotch guarded

the seat cushion. I would have felt bad if it had gotten stained, but it serves

the dumb bug right. Crushed by my MIGHTY ASS” jokingly laughs Grace.

I couldn’t believe it. A Kleenex

came rushing down towards my body. It was like at that moment I was forced back

into my body as I all I could see was a canopy of white but I had no clue what I

was looking up with or how. As the Kleenex mashes against me I can feel it begin

to push all around me as she balls the Kleenex up.

“Perfect not even a stain. Thank

the lord of scotch guarding”

I felt Grace toss me into the

wastepaper basket next to the computer. I couldn’t believe that my body couldn’t

even penetrate the scotch guarding of the cushion.

Over the next few hours I slowly

succumb to death losing consciousness once and for all.

Can

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